Monday, 27 August 2012

Old timey story time

It's that time of the week (or month) again: old timey story time!

Skull Crusher had won another great victory for the Broken Nose Goblins of Boggrub Legbiter. Karak-Azgal lay in smoking ruins, and the Goblins set to plundering the Dwarfhold.
The victory had not been an easy one. The field lay littered with Goblin dead; even their ally and secret weapon, the Troll Gundran Banebelch, had fallen. The Dwarves had employed a great and terrible weapon, which spewed fire and shot across the oncoming Goblin ranks.
A small crowd of Goblins gathered round the machine.
"Nasty, that." commented Boggrub. Gutbug nodded sagely.
"‘Ow’s it work, then?" Boggrub continued.
"Dunno," said Gotbug, "Ask a dwarf?"
"Oh, yeah," Gutbug continued, climbing to his feet, "All dead. Forgot." He rubbed the back of his head ruefully. Suddenly, a shout came from the entrance to the Dwarfhold.
"Oi, boss, got a live one!" Boggrub looked up eagerly.
"Bring it ‘ere!" he commanded. "An’ don’t eat it on the way!" Soon a young Dwarf was thrown down at his feet.
"Right, stunty," growled Boggrub, noting with satisfaction that this juvenile was shorter than he was, "Wot zis an’ how’s it work?"
"Just you wait ‘till my Daddy gets home," whimpered the young Dwarf, "An’ my uncle, an’ my three cousins, an..." The recitation of his family tree was cut short by a wellplaced boot.
"‘Ow’s it
work?" repeated Boggrub.
"It’s a cannon, isn’t it?" gasped the young Dwarf, clutching his groin.
know that, stunty," retorted Boggrub, making a metal note of the name, "but ‘ows it work?"
With a little persuasion, the Goblins learned from their captive how the weapin was used. The four guns were loaded with powder and shot, and trained upon the entrance to the Dwarfhold, where a number of Dwarven corpses were propped up as targets.
Fire!" yelled Boggrub.
When the smoke cleared, the scene of devastation amazed even the Broken Nose Goblins. The shot from the three lower guns had almost totally destroyed the corpses, while the heavy ball from the upper howitzer had reduced the entrance to smoking rubble.
"Cor," breathed Boggrub, "It’s even better than
Skull Crusher!" He had a sudden thought.
"‘Ere," he exclaimed, "Carve the Troll’s face off and nail it across the front - we’ll call it
Lead Belcher, after ‘im." The assembled Goblins murmured their assent at this touching gesture.
"Shall I scrap
Skull Crusher then, boss?" asked Gutbug.
"Nah," answered Boggrub as his lieutenant climbed to his feet, " We’ll be twice as good if we keep both of ‘em."
"I was afraid you’d say that." put in a tired-sounding metallic voice from somewhere.

I aquired this little beauty a couple of weeks ago. I rather like the older range of war machines avaliable to the Orcs at this time, a lot more variation and character than the current lot (though that could be said when comparing prettymuch any of the 1980's ranges against the modern ones...).
Hopefully posting should become more regular in the near future. I have a few elf characters ready except the bases, and a whole bunch of orcs on the go, so expect to see these up in the next week or so.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Harboth's Orc Archers

Or 5 of them at any rate. Harboth's Orc had two different regiments of renown. The original one, RR5, were armed with a collection of knives, clubs and "Dwarf Ticklers", as seen here. The second time round, Harboth's lot got an upgrade, in the form of bows.

Courtesy of The Stuff of Legends, I present the background for this villanous green curs.


"The Black Fire Pass is the only route over the Black Mountains, and for years the mountain and the pass were by and large impassable due to the presence of a large Orc settlement. This dirty and squalid township consisted of several dozen wooden shacks, a large but unstable saloon and hundreds of mean, greedy, low-down Orcs.
The town was run by Harboth, an Orc of great size and strength. Harboth's mates used to spend most of their time in the saloon, sheltering from the almost non-stop rain which is an every day phenomenon along the slopes of the Black Mountains. They would take turns manning the toll gates and torturing travellers. Occasionally there would be a fight as some indignant Halfling or Dwarf tried to defend himself - but not often.
As you can see The Black Mountain Boys don't go in much for fine clothing or fancy gear. They have quite an extensive collection of armour and weapons looted from travelers, including sturdy bows as welt as heavy iron hooked cleavers called Dwarf Ticklers, an invention of Harboth's of which he is justly proud. Yaskin Forit carries an especially large, double handed version of thsi weapon.
After the Goblin wars the Bad Lands were gradually cleaned up by the Dwarfs. Harboth and his gang were forced to take to their heels. It is rumoured that Harboth spent his declining years cattle rustling in the deep south."

And secondly, as RRD3:
""Oy, boss"
"Bin ter see Notlob, like you said,"
"An’ I sez you sez if ‘e don’t find some stunties we eat ‘is boys,"
"So ‘e sez ‘e’s goin’ ‘untin’ stunty,"
"Do wot?"
"E’s packin’ ‘is spearchuckers, an’ movin’ out. Goin’ ter ‘unt some stunties, ‘e sez,"
"E’s packin’..."
"But I woz only...OW!"
"Get packin’..."
"You ‘eard, Finks ‘e can leave ud behind, duz ‘e? We’ll show ‘im!"
...And so it was that Harboth’s Black Mountain Boys moved out of the Black Fire Pass to terrorise the lands beyond. The uneasy partnership between the Black Mountain Boys and Notlob’s bolt-thrower crews was dissolved, over a trivial misunderstanding due to the limited nature of the Orcish language. The Orcish Word for moving out can also mean deserting, running away or soiling one’s underwear..."

Saturday, 11 August 2012

The Best Hammer is an Oldhammer...

Another long gap in my blogging. However, this doesn't mean I haven't been up to much, it just means I've been a lazy git when it comes to putting things on here.

So, in an effort to actually motivate myself to complete a project, I've been doing some rooting around whilst cleaning the house. Alongside the Wood Elves, I've come across some old Orcs. A quick trip to ebay has yielded yet more. As I enjoy painting old models (mainly the ones from the 80s) rather a lot more than more recent Games Workshop offerings, I might actually stand a chance of finishing a large number of them. Furthermore, the content that the "Oldhammer" community itself puts out is quite inspiring. A number of blogs featuring 1980s miniatures and/or wargaming have been added to the links list, so should anyone actually read this, they can immediately find a better offering.

Hopefully an update will follow later today with pictures! As I speak (type), five orcs from Harboth's Orc Archers and a Leadbelcher sit in front of me, waiting for the bases to be finished, so I don't really have any excuses for not getting them up.