Monday, 27 August 2012

Old timey story time

It's that time of the week (or month) again: old timey story time!

Skull Crusher had won another great victory for the Broken Nose Goblins of Boggrub Legbiter. Karak-Azgal lay in smoking ruins, and the Goblins set to plundering the Dwarfhold.
The victory had not been an easy one. The field lay littered with Goblin dead; even their ally and secret weapon, the Troll Gundran Banebelch, had fallen. The Dwarves had employed a great and terrible weapon, which spewed fire and shot across the oncoming Goblin ranks.
A small crowd of Goblins gathered round the machine.
"Nasty, that." commented Boggrub. Gutbug nodded sagely.
"‘Ow’s it work, then?" Boggrub continued.
"Dunno," said Gotbug, "Ask a dwarf?"
"Oh, yeah," Gutbug continued, climbing to his feet, "All dead. Forgot." He rubbed the back of his head ruefully. Suddenly, a shout came from the entrance to the Dwarfhold.
"Oi, boss, got a live one!" Boggrub looked up eagerly.
"Bring it ‘ere!" he commanded. "An’ don’t eat it on the way!" Soon a young Dwarf was thrown down at his feet.
"Right, stunty," growled Boggrub, noting with satisfaction that this juvenile was shorter than he was, "Wot zis an’ how’s it work?"
"Just you wait ‘till my Daddy gets home," whimpered the young Dwarf, "An’ my uncle, an’ my three cousins, an..." The recitation of his family tree was cut short by a wellplaced boot.
"‘Ow’s it
work?" repeated Boggrub.
"It’s a cannon, isn’t it?" gasped the young Dwarf, clutching his groin.
know that, stunty," retorted Boggrub, making a metal note of the name, "but ‘ows it work?"
With a little persuasion, the Goblins learned from their captive how the weapin was used. The four guns were loaded with powder and shot, and trained upon the entrance to the Dwarfhold, where a number of Dwarven corpses were propped up as targets.
Fire!" yelled Boggrub.
When the smoke cleared, the scene of devastation amazed even the Broken Nose Goblins. The shot from the three lower guns had almost totally destroyed the corpses, while the heavy ball from the upper howitzer had reduced the entrance to smoking rubble.
"Cor," breathed Boggrub, "It’s even better than
Skull Crusher!" He had a sudden thought.
"‘Ere," he exclaimed, "Carve the Troll’s face off and nail it across the front - we’ll call it
Lead Belcher, after ‘im." The assembled Goblins murmured their assent at this touching gesture.
"Shall I scrap
Skull Crusher then, boss?" asked Gutbug.
"Nah," answered Boggrub as his lieutenant climbed to his feet, " We’ll be twice as good if we keep both of ‘em."
"I was afraid you’d say that." put in a tired-sounding metallic voice from somewhere.

I aquired this little beauty a couple of weeks ago. I rather like the older range of war machines avaliable to the Orcs at this time, a lot more variation and character than the current lot (though that could be said when comparing prettymuch any of the 1980's ranges against the modern ones...).
Hopefully posting should become more regular in the near future. I have a few elf characters ready except the bases, and a whole bunch of orcs on the go, so expect to see these up in the next week or so.

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