Hairy Wizard

A slight departure from the savage hoards today (though there are some goblins awaiting a chance at being photographic models). Today's fine fellow is an elf with a twist. A hairy twist.

That's right: A BEARD!

According to collecting citadel miniatures this chap is called Macross the Seer, and is (supposedly) the only citadel elf with a beard. Whether that's true or not I can't say, but I don't ever recall seeing any other elves with beards. So that could be a challenge. Try to find other examples of scruffy elves.

The range of elf cavalry from this period are some of my favourites. Unfortunately I don't have that many of them. The horses are some of the most enjoyable I've painted, and I'm not normally very keen on horse painting. Probably why most stuff I paint tends to be infantry.

He also appears to have a stick with a hand on it. I'm assuming this is some kind of magical staff, and not what it appears to be, which is a arse-paddling stick. For ride-by arse-paddling. Though it could be, as we know that wizards have no sense of right and wrong...

Orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs...

What's that you say? Living up to promises?

I've actually managed to do some photography for once. As I mentioned yesterday (I think it was yesterday...), the main reason I'd not posted in ages is that I've not based a lot of the things that I've been painting recently. Does this post mean I've actually gone and done that?

 
No. No it doesn't. But anyway, we can't let that excuse go on forever, otherwise what would be the point in me having this blog?

So, todays first entry are a bunch of marauder orcs, from around '91 according to the first link i checked. I first started playing GW games when I got the 2nd edition Warhammer 40,000 game at Christmas 1994 (though we'd had Heroquest and Space Crusade for a while before). As such, the orcs I remember from that time have the same lantern jaws, tiny noses (note: they did actually have noses back then. None of this stupid flat almost skull-like stuff that counts as an orc nose these days) and goofy expressions. I don't actually recall seeing this lot in particular, not sure if they made it into the O&G army book, which I think was released in 1993, or into anything else after then. In any case, these guys just don't fit in with the plastic fellows that they introduced part way through 5th ed, and that still haunt us to this day. They do, however, fit in quite well with the fellows from the 80's that I have. I've already posted a few "arrer boyz" from Harboth's Orc Archers, so the next step is to show one of the other famous regiments, Rudlug's Armoured Orcs.

 Obviously as with all the regiments of renown back then, Rudlug's lads have a tale:

"The Crooked Eye Orcs had travelled many miles westward to the Old World, suffering the sniping of mountain Goblins, incessant rain, and the endless whining of Bambrag, their incontinent shaman.
Once, they skirted a ruined Dwarfhold. Fear of spirits kept them from sheltering inside, but, a single Orc Hero named Ruglud had dared to enter. He returned unharmed, but had not spoken since, and stated blankly into space.
The Orcs huddled in the rain before a rough stone wall across a narrow pass, while Chief Gudruk Bonechewer yelled at a figure on the battlements.
'Stoopid!', he screamed, 'Do we look like Chaos boys?'
'Zog off!' echoed the reply.
Gudruk returned to the tribe, dodging the hall of stones and garbage that accompanied this witty riposte.
'Lissen,' he said. 'Them kak-'ead Gobboes reckon the Chaos boys took ev'ryfink over. They ain't comin' out an' they ain't lettin' nuffink through. They got bows an' rocks an' spears an' stuff - if we was to try and get 'em, they'd crump us to bits.' He thought for a while.
'We needs volunteers', he announced at length. His warriors developed a sudden and compelling interest in the ground at their feet.
'Or armour', whined Bambrag, 'Couldn't touch us if we 'ad cans like real Chaos boys.'
'We ain't got cans, 'ave we, Trickle-legs?' snarled Gudruk.
'Cans... jus' lyin' where they dropped... all black an' spiky.'
It was Ruglud who spoke. Gudruk gave him a good shake to speed the recovery of his senses, and he continued dreamily.
'Down this Stunty-hole... lotsa rooms ... lost... big room... big enough to stand up in ... big pile of bones an' gear... spiky Stunties an' reg'lar ones... wiped each uvver out...'
'Yerrrss!' cried Gudruk, 'We'll 'ave some o' that! Come on, boys - it's Goblin-gizzard for supper!'.
A swift expedition returned to the Dwarfhold. The ill-fitting plates were roughly hammered into shape and held
together with whatever came to hand. By nightfall, a small unit of armoured warriors was ready.
As the gear's discoverer and the bravest, meanest and certainly the most stupid Orc, Ruglud was made leader, At Gudruk's suggestion, Bambrag became the regimental musician on the Xylobone, a traditional Orcish instrument, and Maggot - Gudruk's youngest and most irritating whelp - joined the ranks as standard-bearer.
The tribe feasted upon Goblin-flesh long into the night - all except for Ruglud, who couldn't get his helmet off, and was reduced to sucking broth through a straw."

As the armour is supposed to be gathered from a pile of stunties and spikey stunties, I decided to go with nice, bright red plates covered in chaos symbols and maws. Bit different, though I know not everyone likes the bright red look. However, in this case, it works quite well, as otherwise the (equally bright) green skin pulls a bit too much attention away from the armour.

This unit isn't actually complete yet, as some of them are still languishing in dettol. I don't actually have the musician for this lot to my knowledge, so I'll have to track him down on ebay at somepoint.

So, having paiunted a fair few greenies, I thought it might be time to do a group shot.

Fine looking bunch, arn't they. The bases'll be done at some point in the near future, though whether it's before or after more orcs get painted I don't know.

I'm Selling These Fine Leather Jackets

(This is Kati, the other half of this dastardly team. First off, an admission: I'm the slowest painter in the history of forever, and I'm both easily amused and easily distracted. So my posts are likely to be even more sporadic than Alex's, and generally filled with nonsense. Maybe Dark Eldar too, at some point, but mostly nonsense.)

Legends of the High Seas is a skirmish game for the sadly now-defunct Warhammer Historical system, in which you recruit a gang of buccaneers and wreak piratey havoc across the Caribbean. There's only one possible direction that I could take this: Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate™.

Thus far, I've managed to convert the Mighty Pirate himself, plus Edward "Snugglecakes" Van Helgen, the dread pirate Bloodnose and Cutthroat Bill. The internet has a disappointing lack of suitably burly and Scottish-looking 28mm models, so I'm still on the hunt for a suitable Haggis McMutton. Any suggestions would be gratefully received. With that, on to some pictures.

Oh... there's... a... monkey in my pocket And he's stealing all my change! His stare is blank and glassy, I suspect that he's deraaaanged!

(You might be wondering why this model has CoMI Guybrush's clothes and ToMIGuybrush's beard. Your guess, if I'm perfectly honest, is as good as mine.)

Guybrush was converted from the leftmost of these scurvy curs from Artizan, with an extensively resculpted face, quiff and a fine leather jacket waistcoat.

What? You shot my banjo!

Van Helgen started off as a Crusader Miniatures pirate, and actually hasn't had that much conversion done. The moustache, beard, eyepatch and cravat were added with greenstuff, and the feather originally came from a GW Empire kit (I believe it was Greatswords, but I can't be certain as it was in one of our random collections of bitz).

Obligatory group shot:

(Not 100% sure what happened to Van Helgen's base here... it looks fine IRL.)

Somehow, this doesn't seem very fair. (He really should have chosen the banjo.)

Next up: Wally the Cartographer Bloodnose the Pirate and Cutthroat Bill!

(As an aside, fuck you, HTML editor, you insufferable piece of shit. I'll teach you to garble my image code and add like 8 million <br> tags where I didn't ask for them. Grah.)

Hawk, fetch!

Just a quick one. Apologies for not posting in the last month or so. I have been fairly productive painting wise. Just not basing wise. Fingers crossed I'll actually get some other pictures up this weekend. In the meantime, I present one elf and his bird.

Come closer so I can punch you with my bird...

Old timey story time

It's that time of the week (or month) again: old timey story time!

Skull Crusher had won another great victory for the Broken Nose Goblins of Boggrub Legbiter. Karak-Azgal lay in smoking ruins, and the Goblins set to plundering the Dwarfhold.
The victory had not been an easy one. The field lay littered with Goblin dead; even their ally and secret weapon, the Troll Gundran Banebelch, had fallen. The Dwarves had employed a great and terrible weapon, which spewed fire and shot across the oncoming Goblin ranks.
A small crowd of Goblins gathered round the machine.
"Nasty, that." commented Boggrub. Gutbug nodded sagely.
"‘Ow’s it work, then?" Boggrub continued.
"Dunno," said Gotbug, "Ask a dwarf?"
"Oh, yeah," Gutbug continued, climbing to his feet, "All dead. Forgot." He rubbed the back of his head ruefully. Suddenly, a shout came from the entrance to the Dwarfhold.
"Oi, boss, got a live one!" Boggrub looked up eagerly.
"Bring it ‘ere!" he commanded. "An’ don’t eat it on the way!" Soon a young Dwarf was thrown down at his feet.
"Right, stunty," growled Boggrub, noting with satisfaction that this juvenile was shorter than he was, "Wot zis an’ how’s it work?"
"Just you wait ‘till my Daddy gets home," whimpered the young Dwarf, "An’ my uncle, an’ my three cousins, an..." The recitation of his family tree was cut short by a wellplaced boot.
"‘Ow’s it work?" repeated Boggrub.
"It’s a cannon, isn’t it?" gasped the young Dwarf, clutching his groin.
"I know that, stunty," retorted Boggrub, making a metal note of the name, "but ‘ows it work?"
With a little persuasion, the Goblins learned from their captive how the weapin was used. The four guns were loaded with powder and shot, and trained upon the entrance to the Dwarfhold, where a number of Dwarven corpses were propped up as targets.
"Fire!" yelled Boggrub.
When the smoke cleared, the scene of devastation amazed even the Broken Nose Goblins. The shot from the three lower guns had almost totally destroyed the corpses, while the heavy ball from the upper howitzer had reduced the entrance to smoking rubble.
"Cor," breathed Boggrub, "It’s even better than Skull Crusher!" He had a sudden thought.
"‘Ere," he exclaimed, "Carve the Troll’s face off and nail it across the front - we’ll call it Lead Belcher, after ‘im." The assembled Goblins murmured their assent at this touching gesture.
"Shall I scrap Skull Crusher then, boss?" asked Gutbug.
"Nah," answered Boggrub as his lieutenant climbed to his feet, " We’ll be twice as good if we keep both of ‘em."
"I was afraid you’d say that." put in a tired-sounding metallic voice from somewhere.

I aquired this little beauty a couple of weeks ago. I rather like the older range of war machines avaliable to the Orcs at this time, a lot more variation and character than the current lot (though that could be said when comparing prettymuch any of the 1980's ranges against the modern ones...).

Hopefully posting should become more regular in the near future. I have a few elf characters ready except the bases, and a whole bunch of orcs on the go, so expect to see these up in the next week or so.

Harboth's Orc Archers

Or 5 of them at any rate. Harboth's Orc had two different regiments of renown. The original one, RR5, were armed with a collection of knives, clubs and "Dwarf Ticklers", as seen here. The second time round, Harboth's lot got an upgrade, in the form of bows.

Courtesy of The Stuff of Legends, I present the background for this villanous green curs.

Initially:

"The Black Fire Pass is the only route over the Black Mountains, and for years the mountain and the pass were by and large impassable due to the presence of a large Orc settlement. This dirty and squalid township consisted of several dozen wooden shacks, a large but unstable saloon and hundreds of mean, greedy, low-down Orcs.

The town was run by Harboth, an Orc of great size and strength. Harboth's mates used to spend most of their time in the saloon, sheltering from the almost non-stop rain which is an every day phenomenon along the slopes of the Black Mountains. They would take turns manning the toll gates and torturing travellers. Occasionally there would be a fight as some indignant Halfling or Dwarf tried to defend himself - but not often.

As you can see The Black Mountain Boys don't go in much for fine clothing or fancy gear. They have quite an extensive collection of armour and weapons looted from travelers, including sturdy bows as welt as heavy iron hooked cleavers called Dwarf Ticklers, an invention of Harboth's of which he is justly proud. Yaskin Forit carries an especially large, double handed version of thsi weapon.

After the Goblin wars the Bad Lands were gradually cleaned up by the Dwarfs. Harboth and his gang were forced to take to their heels. It is rumoured that Harboth spent his declining years cattle rustling in the deep south."

And secondly, as RRD3:

""Oy, boss"
"Wot"
"Bin ter see Notlob, like you said,"
"Yer............?"
"An’ I sez you sez if ‘e don’t find some stunties we eat ‘is boys,"
"Yer?"
"So ‘e sez ‘e’s goin’ ‘untin’ stunty,"
"Do wot?"
"E’s packin’ ‘is spearchuckers, an’ movin’ out. Goin’ ter ‘unt some stunties, ‘e sez,"
"WOT!"
"E’s packin’..."
"SHADDAP!"
"But I woz only...OW!"
"Get packin’..."
"Wot?"
"You ‘eard, Finks ‘e can leave ud behind, duz ‘e? We’ll show ‘im!"

...And so it was that Harboth’s Black Mountain Boys moved out of the Black Fire Pass to terrorise the lands beyond. The uneasy partnership between the Black Mountain Boys and Notlob’s bolt-thrower crews was dissolved, over a trivial misunderstanding due to the limited nature of the Orcish language. The Orcish Word for moving out can also mean deserting, running away or soiling one’s underwear..."

The Best Hammer is an Oldhammer...

Another long gap in my blogging. However, this doesn't mean I haven't been up to much, it just means I've been a lazy git when it comes to putting things on here.

So, in an effort to actually motivate myself to complete a project, I've been doing some rooting around whilst cleaning the house. Alongside the Wood Elves, I've come across some old Orcs. A quick trip to ebay has yielded yet more. As I enjoy painting old models (mainly the ones from the 80s) rather a lot more than more recent Games Workshop offerings, I might actually stand a chance of finishing a large number of them. Furthermore, the content that the "Oldhammer" community itself puts out is quite inspiring. A number of blogs featuring 1980s miniatures and/or wargaming have been added to the links list, so should anyone actually read this, they can immediately find a better offering.

Hopefully an update will follow later today with pictures! As I speak (type), five orcs from Harboth's Orc Archers and a Leadbelcher sit in front of me, waiting for the bases to be finished, so I don't really have any excuses for not getting them up.